I am so depressed today I just want to die.

I am so stressed today.  So depressed.  It's like getting punched over and over again.  So worn out, physically, emotionally.  More stress than I can take.  Nothing to look forward to.  Talking out loud about the last few days broke through some of the numbness I have been feeling.  Several major stressors on top of what I am already going through.  I just want to kill myself now because it is all just too much and I do not even have someone to talk to tonight, again.  Talking on the phone did not make me feel better, it made me feel worse.  I can't cope now and I don't know how I am going to cope tomorrow, and I'm afraid I have gotten myself back into the same old situation.  I am just on overload and emotionally I feel... Horrible.  Physically I feel horrible.  I just wish I had a bunch of candy to binge on I'd just lie in bed and zone out reading and eat until I am sick.  I already feel sick.  Am I crazy?  What's worse, the frying pan or the fire?  Oh, no let's combine the frying pan and the fire together and see how that works out.  I AM SO OVERWHELMED I CAN'T EVEN THINK.  I am not the first priority any more.  Maybe that is making me afraid, I know it is.  I AM SO AFRAID AND STRESSED OUT.  The present sucks, the future sucks, this week sucks.  I am just breaking.  Mentally, emotionally.  Physically.  IT'S TOO MUCH.

Typed "OVERWHELMED" into the search engine and this definition came up:

overwhelmedpast participle, past tense of o·ver·whelm (Verb)

Verb:

Bury or drown beneath a huge mass. Defeat completely.

That is SO completely accurate to how I am feeling right now.  That is exactly it.  I can't feel feel, write or think.  I need help and I have no one to ask :(  My resources are drained completely and I am being crushed, buried alive.  Drowning in the sea of life, and right now, hell yeah--it has defeated me.  I can't fight back I don't have the strength left.

I feel like such a small light in the storm.  And the waves are crashing around me so high, so strong.  So much bigger and stronger than I am.

I feel SO ALONE.  :( :( :( :( :( :(